I have a what overgrowth?

Candida. Leaky Gut.

Never heard of either of them.

My inaugural visit with the Naturopath went something like this:

He looked at my fingers, hands and elbows and smiled. “I am pretty confident this is food related,” he said in a very soothing voice, “we can help you.” If I was capable of doing a cartwheel, I would have done so right on the spot. He booked me to have a food sensitivity screening test and we wold talk after to discuss our path to healing my skin.

The skeptic in me looked at the Electrodermal Screening Tool and scoffed inwardly. I put on my polite game face and sat opposite the technician who was about to conduct the test.

She pulled out several wooden trays of tiny glass vials that stood row upon row in some sort of secret order. I had to hold one part of the device in one hand and she placed each test vial in the machine and touched the tip of the screening tool to finger on the other hand. The machine made all kinds of whale-song noises and various gauges reacted to each and every glass vial. This went on for quite a while. I really was wondering what I signed myself up for, plus I was paying for this too. The testing completed, I was to wait in the reception area for the results.

Well, apparently I was sensitive to almost everything I ate. I was to stay away from: wheat, barley, buckwheat, amaranth, kamut, quinoa, millet, rye, spelt, msg, sodium nitrate, saccharin, horseradish, peas, onions, cherries, lemons, pineapple, plums, raspberries, raisins, flax, poppy seeds, baker’s yeast, coffee, wine, cottage cheese, vinegar, hops, curry, pimento, cinnamon, thyme and oregano.

Some things were no big deal. I had never heard of quinoa or kamut. I didn’t eat things with saccharin. You could chase me around the block with hot stuff like horseradish. Wait a second . .  . no coffee? No wine? No bacon (msg and nitrates)? So no more pizza, toast, and a whole world of stuff I really enjoyed eating. I really liked baking (and eating) cookies and cakes and all the sweet stuff. Coffee is a food group right? This might be harder than I thought.

I was sent away with a bag full of supplements to heal my Leaky Gut and Candida overgrowth (didn’t know what either was or that I had them).  I dutifully ingested Slippery Elm Bark, Vitamin A with very specific dosages, Essential Fatty Acids in drop form, something specifically targeted to kill off the Candida and a few other goodies whose names escape me. These things were taken with very specific protocols. Some with food, some on an empty stomach, some once a day and some several times a day. Some tasted quite nasty and others were bordering on pleasant.

Grocery shopping and eating was about to change.





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